


What You Don't Know

by smutsonian



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Dubcon on chapter 1, F/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Reader, Sam is an asshole, Steve is an Asshole, Tony is an asshole, a bunch of poorly written flashbacks, basically every one on the team is an asshole, poorly thought of plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23783467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smutsonian/pseuds/smutsonian
Summary: ups and downs (mostly downs if we're being honest) in your relationship with Captain America himself.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader, reader/oc
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	1. Liability

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter consists of smut. Steve is an asshole and it's got dubcon elements in this one so please read at your own risk. It's also angsty :') 
> 
> also! no proofreading so sorry about them mistakes. me is only a hooman

**_~ Present Time ~_ **

How could this happen? The day started out just fine. What went wrong? Was it something you did? Something you said?

You sniffled at the thought.

The driver looks at you through the rearview mirror with concern. He’d seen everything that happened. He saw how your boyfriend dumped you after a fight. A fight that came out of nowhere. A fight that was filled with screaming, crying, and shoving. He drove the two of you to the restaurant and everything seemed well. Actually, everything seemed fantastic.

  
  


**_~ 3 hours ago ~_ **

“Come on, baby. We still have time.” Steve whispers against your neck as his hands find their way towards your breasts, fondling them hungrily. You were busy fixing your hair in front of the mirror, getting ready for the date that he begged you to go to. 

“I’m getting ready for later, babe. What’s making you so excited, huh?” You let out a quiet chuckle as you put on a scarlet red lipstick, standing up to fix the short red dress that he bought you. He bit his lip to mask a groan as he took in your appearance through the mirror. “You’re making me excited, baby.” He presses himself against your back, grinding his hard-on against your ass while he runs his hands through your shoulders, dipping his head on the crook of your neck to press wet kisses.

You bit your lips as he bites on that perfect spot on your neck, silently whimpering against his hold. Your hands absentmindedly reaches back to his hair, pulling on it slightly and making him moan against your neck. One of his hands finds their way down your dress, pulling it up just a little only to be stopped by your hands.

“Can’t this wait after dinner?” You turn around to face him, placing a hand on his broad chest and smiling softly up at him. He covers your wrists with his huge hands and pulls you closer to him. Leaning down to inhale the scent from your neck, he groans and shakes his head from side to side. “I need you now, baby.” He moves your hands from his chest towards his crotch area and made you palm him through his suit pants. He groans loudly as he presses your palms harder against his hard cock and pulls away from your neck to place his forehead against yours. “Can you help me out, baby? Please?” He gives you a pouty face that earns an eye roll from you. 

“That’s unfair! You can’t always give me that look whenever you want something…” You complain but you’re already going on your knees and undoing his pants. He smirked down at you but the guilt that was present on his eyes remains unnoticed by you.

Watching his cock as it sprang up, you look up at him with a smile. He groans as he watches you look up at him with your faux innocent look. “Baby…” His mouth falls open and his head falls back when you took ahold of his cock, enclosing his tip with your lips. His jaw clenches when your tongue swirled around his tip in a teasing manner. 

“Please, baby!” He whines desperately. He forces himself to look at you with a pleading look. You nodded and moved your head down, swallowing more of him until his tip hit the back of your throat. He bit his lower lip when he felt the vibrations around his cock as you gagged around him. “That’s it, baby” His hands made their way to your head, entangling his fingers with your hair and forcefully pulling them back. He thrusts his hips up at the same time he pushes your head down his cock, forcing you to take him all in and making you gag around him again and again as he repeated the action.

Tears started to form in your eyes as he continues to fuck your mouth. Your palms find its way to his thighs, trying to push him away but he was too into it that he didn’t even notice your struggle. He continues to rut in your mouth until his cock twitches, signaling you that he’s about to cum.

“FUUUUCKK” He shoves your head down his cock until his tip was down your throat and spills every drop of his cum down your pipe. After swallowing every drop, you pushed yourself away from him and this time, he let go. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and look towards him with a small frown. “You happy?” 

He smirked tiredly and shook his head no. “Not yet, baby.” He grabs you under your arms, making you stand up and drag you towards the bed. He pushes on your back until your upper half is laying on the bed while your knees are on the floor. He slides your dress up until it was bunched around your waist and wasted no time in entering you. You whimpered at the size of him and he smirks proudly at the noise he’s able to elicit from you.

“Mmhhmm” your cries were muffled by the mattress under you as he has one of his huge palms pushing your head down. The other hand was on your hips, pulling it against him every time he would thrust in you to add force into it. 

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby…” Focusing on his second climax, he starts to ram in and out of you at a rapid pace as he lets out loud and wanton groans. He bucks his hips hard into you one last time before twitching and emptying inside you, coating your walls with his hot jizz. “OHH GOD!” He stays inside you for a while before pulling out and tucking himself back into his suit pants. “Baby, you’re so fucking hot.” He watches you as you rearrange your dress and pulls you against his chest to press a long lecherous kiss against your lips.

“Now we’re ready to leave.” He takes your hand and guides you out of the house and into the black SUV.

“There you go. Watch your head…” Steve opens the door for you and helps you enter the car. The driver smiles at the two of you, telling Steve how adorable of a couple you two are. Steve thanks him and goes around the car to enter and sit beside you.

The driver enters the car and proceeds to drive the both of you to the designated restaurant. He would watch both of you through the rearview mirror from time to time as you exchange little banters and giggle at each other like teenagers in love.

He drops the two of you off and parks somewhere down the parking lot. 

  
  
  


**_~ Present Time ~_ **

Remembering what happened, the driver wonders what went wrong. Seeing you cry at the backseat alone now was a complete contrast from the scene he saw earlier. He thought everything was going fine with the two of you. With how you were together before he drove you to the restaurant. 

“Ma’am, are you okay?” He asks, his voice laced with concern as he hears you let out another sob.

“Please… Can you drive me home?  _ My home… _ ”

Whatever happened in that restaurant?

  
  
  


**_~ 1 hour ago ~_ **

“What’s wrong, babe?” You ask Steve as he’s been quiet ever since the both of you were sat down. The restaurant looks really expensive. It’s beautiful indeed but it wasn’t necessary to have dinner here. As long as it was with Steve, you’re contented. 

“Babe?” You gently grab his hand from across the table, watching him frown at his phone. 

“Is there something wrong at the tower? We can put a rain check for tonight…” You give him an understanding smile. He snaps his head towards yours and pulls his hand away, making you frown but you were quick to hide it with a faux smile.

“No! Everything’s fine. I was just… thinking.” He mutters quietly.

“Thinking? About what?” You raise an eyebrow as you tilt your head to the side, thanking the waiter for serving two glasses of champagne. 

Steve takes a sip on his glass before sighing. “About us…” 

You swallowed hard before taking a sip on your champagne as well. His tone was giving you an uneasy feeling. “What about us, babe?” 

“I think we need to end this.” He motions an index finger between the two of you. “Us… I think we need to end us.”

“WHAT?” You drop your glass down the table, earning a few looks from the other guests nearby.

“Please, baby. Keep it down…” He tries to grab your hand but you pulled yours away. 

_ “Don’t you dare call me baby, Steve.”  _ Your jaw involuntarily clenches as your nose flared in anger. 

“Why the sudden change, Steve? Have I done something wrong?” Your feelings turned from anger to sadness. Even guilt. 

“No, Y/N… Well… Kind of.” He bites on his lower lip as he sees your eyes tear up.

“W-hy? What d-did I do?” Your voice was shaky from trying to stop the sobs threatening to leave your mouth.

“It’s mostly because of me, bab- Y/N… My job… It’s dangerous, you know that. If my enemies find out about you… I don’t know what they’ll do.” He tries to grab your hand again and this time, you let him. 

“Think about it… You’re way too young for me and I’m way too old for you… I’m trying to keep a low profile but you’re too… distracting. Think about it, Y/N… We’re not meant to be.” He rubs your knuckles softly as he gives you a sad and guilty smile.

  
  


_ “It’s just… You’re a liability.”  _

  
  


You gasp at his words. A liability… The familiar line hits you again and it hits you like a truck. You pull your hand away from him as you purse your lips, trying so hard not to make a scene.

You nod at him, ignoring the tears that started to fall down your cheeks. You stand up from the table, ignoring Steve as you start to walk for the exits. 

“Baby- Y/N, wait! Where are you going? Fuck!” He curses as he stands up from his seat to follow you, leaving a genuine amount of cash on the table and apologizing to a nearby waiter.

You continue to walk away from him, finding the SUV in the parking lot when a hand stopped you. The driver was about to open the door for you but Steve motioned for him to wait up for a bit.

“Please, let’s talk about this.” Steve tries to caress your face but you slapped his hands away.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Steve!” You shout at him, ignoring him when he tells you to quiet down a little because there were people around.

“You’ve made it pretty clear that I have no use for you anymore!” You hissed at him, shaking your head.

“It’s not like that, Baby-”

“It’s exactly like that! You want to know what I think, Stevie?” You spit his name like a curse and he can’t help but flinch at it.

“I think you planned on this dinner date a long time ago. I think you planned on disposing of me and that’s the reason why you can’t fucking wait to fuck me until after our dinner. It’s because we won’t be together anymore after that. I think you fucking used me to warm your fucking cock whenever you want to. I think you just used me to get off. I think you fucking used me just like everyone fucking did.” You were shouting and jabbing a finger on his chest by the end of your cries. Steve let you but as your words started again, his jaw starts to clench in anger and he finds it hard to control his anger as well.

“I think you’re just a fucking lonely old pervert that uses women for their own pleasure. Am I right?” Another finger jabs at Steve’s chest.

“Am. I. Fucking. Right?!” A jab per word and Steve’s patience snaps. He grabs your wrist with his strong hand and stops you. He glares down at you, his nose flaring in fury. “You really want to know?!” He hisses at you and continues when you just stare back at him with surprised eyes. 

“You think I use women for my own pleasure? Do you think of yourself as a woman? You’re just a fucking girl, Y/N. At first, you were fun, youthful and all that. Yeah, you were fun to fuck, filled with energy and all that. I had the adrenaline I was looking for. I had fun with your wildness but then it got too much to handle. YOU got too much to handle. That made me realize that you’re just a girl. You can’t be controlled. You do things you want without thinking of the consequences. You’re not a woman, Y/N. You are just a little girl trying to act like a grown woman. Do you know what you are? A fucking liability.” By the end of his speech, Steve was the one jabbing a finger at you. He jabs a finger down your head like one does to a child and it adds more to your humiliation. All you can do is stare at Steve with shaking breaths and trembling lower lip. Your eyes were filled with tears that your vision got blurry. 

Steve knew he had crossed a line. He had crossed thousands of lines just because he couldn’t control his anger. He knew that he fucked up when he saw the look in your face. He knew he fucked up when you frowned at him before hissing a “Fuck you.” All he could do was watch as you made it to the car as fast as you can, blocking Steve out of your vision, your mind, and later on, your life.


	2. Memoir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remembering your past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning/s: flashbacks, angst, deaths, car crash, drunk driving, not proofread
> 
> A/N: i added a character. im thinking of timothee chalamet as Elio. If you’ve watched Call me by your name, elio aint that young here. Y/N and Elio is in their 20s :3 this chapter is focused on what happened to y/n before she started actin up

For you, home doesn’t mean a house that you lived in so you can sleep, eat, shower, and whatnot. You always believed that a home was being with someone you love and loves you back. A home is with the person or people that you feel most safe and comfortable with. You only had two people for that matter. It used to be only one person but Steve happened. Home for you was with your father or with Steve. It doesn’t make any sense now because one is dead and one turned out to be a major asshole. 

Maybe that’s why you’re currently sitting on your father’s grave. Maybe that’s why you left New York so you can grieve to your father’s grave. Doesn’t matter if he’s dead. He’s always been there for you and you would never fail to believe that he’ll still be there for you even if he’s dead. 

You have always been a daddy’s girl. Your mother was the one who works for the family while your father is a house husband. The two of you were inseparable, always up to no good and your mother would always chastise the both of you but your father would calm her down and the three of you would just spend the time with each other. It was a picture-perfect family… Until it was not. A car accident. A fucking drunk driver. A guy stupid enough to drive a fucking car under the influence of alcohol. Your father was going to pick you up from a skating session at the ice rink but he never made it. The drunk bastard was going so fucking fast that the impact killed your father in an instant. Just like that. Just one blink and your father’s life is taken away from him. 

Your father has always been your rock but when he died, your life went to shit. Your relationship with your mom wasn’t there if your father isn’t in the picture. The two of you would only have the chance to interact because of the picnics that your father would prepare whenever your mom gets a day off from the hospital. Being a doctor takes a ton of your time, you guessed. But that’s it. You never had the chance to have a one on one with her until your father died. It didn’t end well...

**[Flashback]**

_ I can’t believe this. He’s dead. He’s really dead. Why? Why?! _

_ “You need to save him!” you yelled at your mom but she only shook her head, eyes glassy with unshed tears. _

_ “Y/N… He’s gone. I did my best. I want him alive as much as you do but life can be full of surprises. May it be a good one or a bad one.” She makes a move to embrace me but I slap her hands away, still not believing anything of this. Not believing the words coming out of her mouth. _

_ “Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m one of your patients.” You hissed at her. Why isn’t she hurting like you were? Did she not care for him at all? _

_ “Don’t talk to me like that, young lady. I’m still your mother-” _

_ “Are you? Are you really? You never acted like one-” You couldn’t finish your sentence because of a stinging pain you felt on your right cheek. She just slapped you...  _

_ “You don’t get to tell me that.” Her voice was raising and you could see her face contorting into an angry one. _

_ “You don’t get to act like you're the only one here who’s affected by his death. He’s my fucking husband, for fuck’s sake. I’ve been with him longer than you have and you… You just have to fucking take those shitty ice skating classes and for what? I don’t see why he’s so keen on supporting you with that. Look what it got him. He’s fucking dead because of you and your stupid classes.” Her voice was laced with so much distaste that you almost flinched at it. She was seething and it was all directed towards you. Your mother being disgusted by you wasn’t what broke you but her words did. The idea, no. The fact that you’re the reason for your father’s death is what broke you. _

_ You eyed your mother with surprised and guilty eyes and made a step back away from her, shaking your head as the tears escaped your eyes. Your mother’s face morphed into a guilty one and she went to reach for you but you stepped further away. _

_ “No.” You hissed. _

_ “Don’t fucking touch me. Don’t fucking come near me ever again. I fucking hate you!” And with that, you run out of the hospital. Leaving your parents without looking back.  _

**[End of the flashback]**

Looking back at it now, you knew that you acted a bit out of hand and were being really selfish with your mother. You weren’t the only one who lost a family. Yeah, you lost your father but she lost her husband. She lost the guy that he fell in love with. They’ve been together for a long time and it must really suck to lose your lover. But you were a kid who’s mourning her father’s death and she definitely shouldn’t have put the blame on you. It fucked with your brain a lot. Like a lot. Having your mother tell you that you’re the reason for your father’s death deals great damage to a person. Especially a teenager.

Having your father die when you’re young also deals damage to you. You don’t know if it was your father’s death that made you crave older men’s approval or something but you know that his death gave you some kind of daddy issues. Putting yourself in situations with older men because of it, making you even more fucked up. 

Craving their approval is unhealthy and can be dangerous if you find yourself with someone who’s manipulative because they can use that to take you for granted. It doesn’t really matter anymore because every single one you dated turned out to be the same type of people. Everyone used you and threw you out after they had their fill. Every single one of them. You thought Steve would be different but that one stung like a bitch. The way he treated you like a child… Those hurtful words that he used… Maybe he’s right. If it keeps happening to you, maybe the problem is you.

Maybe you’re still that kid that liked seeing his father proud of her and the moment that you failed to do that anymore because he died… Maybe you’re just stuck at that. You’re so hung up on making your father proud that you jumped on the chance of making every single older man proud of you. Nevermind them taking you for granted. You’re too blinded by your determination to fill that empty hole inside your heart to even notice.

“Hey, graveyard neighbor!” 

Too occupied with your own thoughts, you don’t see the guy from beside your father’s grave until he calls out to you. You turned to see a young man sitting just a few feet away from you, one hand waving at you while the other was supporting his weight as he leaned back. Loose curls falling down his forehead as he smiled and nodded at you.

“I’ve never seen you around here. Though, I only ever started going here last month…” he mumbles, scratching his chin as he seems to be deep in thought.

“Is that your father?” He points towards your father’s headstone. You looked at him with a questioning look before nodding, turning your head to run your eyes over the stone. You never really got the chance to go to his funeral or to visit his grave because you ran away from your mother. You were too proud to be caught running back to her so you didn’t risk visiting your father. Come to think of it now, you’ve been really immature. You still are… According to Steve, you’re no woman. You’re just a little girl with a lot of issues.

You felt something touch your side and you were once again pulled out of your thoughts by the guy who found himself sitting beside you.

“According to your face, he seemed like a great guy.” He gives you a playful smile that you return. “He is… He was. He really was.” You nodded before hugging your knees and resting your chin on it.

“Your father?” Your voice was quiet as you pointed towards the headstone that was beside your father’s.

He nodded before standing up and slapping his father’s headstone. “Yep. The old man died last month. I always warned him about eating too much sugar but the old man never listened. Always saying shit about living what’s left of his life freely.” He chuckled before rubbing his palms on his jeans and offering you a hand.

“I’m Elio” 

You took his hands and shook it before standing up. “Y/N.” You give him a polite smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. So, how come I’ve never seen you here before?” He asked with a tilt of the head and a teasing smile. 

“I’m from New York. Just visiting here for some time.” You shrugged. How long were you even planning on staying here? You don’t really have a place here. And you for sure don’t want to see your mother. Not yet, at least.

“New York, huh? I have a small job there but I’ll be staying here for some time too. Gotta mourn my pop’s death with my ma.” He chuckles at his own words before shaking his head and poking his forehead slightly and smiling wildly at you.

“How do you feel about coffee? My treat.” He grins.

Elio seems like a fun guy to hang around with and he’s been nothing but nice. He seems about someone your age too so there’s no issue there… It can be a good distraction from real life. Having a friend sounds really nice right now and Elio has one of the friendliest smiles that you can’t help but agree to his offer to get some coffee.

* * *

Steve knew he messed up. He was so scared that you would actually leave him for real but the moment he stepped foot on your shared apartment, he felt somewhat relieved. All your things were still there. He knew you didn’t have a lot so he’s confident that you would come back. You didn’t have anyone else. He knows that you need him. He knows how you’re codependent to him. As selfish as it sounds, he’s thankful for that side of you. He’s thankful that you’re somehow messed up like that because that assures him that you’ll never leave his side. No matter how bad your fight was. You’ll come back to him. You always will.

Seconds. Hours. Days. Weeks have past but you’re still nowhere to be found. You still haven’t come home to Steve and he’s starting to think that he may actually have done it. Where would you even go without him? Have you found another old man to cling onto? Steve knows he has no right to be mad. It’s his fault. He’s so used to being the righteous Captain America that he couldn’t believe the fact that he would be able to make a mistake. He couldn’t believe that he made a mistake with you. He just wanted to help you and be there for you but he failed. His confidence is gone and the realization hits him. You were gone and you might actually not come back. 

And it’s all his fault.


End file.
